Coates & Frey, Attorneys at Law, LLLC
Phone: (808) 524-4854

What traits make someone a difficult spouse?

Everybody has a few bad habits. Sometimes, those habits are so ingrained, however, that they seem to dominate a person's entire personality. That can make them awfully hard people to maintain a relationship with in the long run.

Here are the most toxic personality types to a marriage:


You can't fix a relationship if you don't talk about what's wrong. Sometimes, that means fighting a bit with a spouse over something important. Avoiders avoid arguments at all costs. They leave so much unfinished business, however, that both spouses end up feeling frustrated and alone.


Narcissists have to have the attention on them and have to be the most important person in any relationship, at all times. That's exhausting for the other spouse, who may wither in the narcissist's shadow.

Fragile Egos

A fragile ego comes from deep insecurities that are never really settled. Their quest to be wanted, admired, loved or adored will repeat itself over and over. That can lead to affairs and other intolerable situations.


It's nice to have a spouse that cares. But if your spouse always has to be the "giver," that leaves you in the role of the "taker," all of the time. That can leave you feeling diminished by your dependence or even make you feel like you have nothing worth giving.


When someone blows up over every perceived fault or grievance with their spouse, the overreactions are extreme. A forgotten kiss is "proof" that you don't love your spouse anymore, the marriage is doomed or you're having an affair. As soon as this type of person calms down, they realize that they blew things out of proportion, but the roller coaster ride of emotions for you may continue. Worse, it's likely to happen again and again.

If you feel more and more discontent in your marriage because your spouse exhibits one of these traits, it may be time to consider a divorce.

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