Coates & Frey, Attorneys at Law, LLLC
Phone: (808) 524-4854

Is it time for a divorce?

How do you know if it's time to call "quits" on your marriage and get a divorce? Absent a sudden, shocking event, many unhappy marriages will drift along for a while simply because neither spouse wants to be the one to upset the status quo.

There comes a time, however, when it is far smarter and saner to set yourself -- and your spouse -- free. It's probably time to get a divorce when:

  • You can't stand physical contact with your spouse. If you find yourself shying away from your spouse's touch, that's a sign that you've emotionally removed yourself from the marriage already.
  • You get excited at the idea of being alone. Maybe you catch yourself thinking about how you'd decorate if your spouse weren't there, or maybe you're just thinking how much less stressful it will be not to be trapped in an unhappy relationship.
  • You can't picture a future life with your spouse because the whole idea is depressing. Or, you can picture a future life together -- and you hate everything about it.
  • You're angry and resentful about your spouse's behavior. Maybe those feelings have been building. Resentment often leads to contempt -- a sure marriage-killer.
  • You've tried therapy. Whether you went alone or your spouse went with you, therapy is often a last-ditch attempt to preserve a marriage. If it doesn't help, that's a sign that one or both of you simply isn't invested in a better outcome.

Ultimately, even if all the signs that you should end your marriage are there, you should take the time to put into words exactly why you want out. Having a clear understanding of your motivation can make it easier for you to commit to a forward path.

If you're ready to take the next step, a Honolulu divorce attorney may be able to help.

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Coates & Frey | Pioneer Plaza, Suite 1400, 900 Fort Street Mall | Honolulu, HI 96813
Phone: (808) 524-4854 | Fax: (808) 524-0717 | Map & Directions

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