Coates & Frey, Attorneys at Law, LLLC
Phone: (808) 524-4854

How to hire the right divorce mediator

In a previous blog post, we talked about why divorce mediation has become so popular all of a sudden. Now, we'd like to talk a little bit about how you go about choosing the right mediator for your particular divorce.

Here are the basics that you need to consider:

1. Have you and your spouse both accepted that the marriage is over?

Mediation won't work unless both parties are clear about where things are headed.

2. Are you and your spouse willing to be honest?

Good mediation required both parties to negotiate openly and honestly about their hopes and expectations.

3. Do you both feel comfortable with the mediator you have chosen?

If either of you feels like the mediator is biased, unwilling to listen, unfocused or otherwise unsuitable, find a new mediator.

4. Can your mediator redirect the sessions that wander off-track?

You and your spouse are bound to get off-topic from time to time. If your mediator knows his or her job, he or she will quickly redirect you to the topic at hand.

5. Do you feel like the mediator takes sides?

Mediators should be neutral parties. Sympathy can be extended to both spouses -- because you are both going through a lot -- but neither of you should feel like the mediator is playing favorites.

6. Can your mediator cut through extraneous information?

Mediators need the ability to summarize what is being said and nail down what is important in any particular discussion -- without getting lost in the details.

7. Does the mediator know how to listen?

Effective communication requires active listening techniques. You should feel like the mediator is asking the right questions and taking a hard look at the essential issues.

To learn more about mediation and how it can help make for a less-complicated (and less-expensive) divorce, please explore our site further or contact us directly.

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