Coates & Frey, Attorneys at Law, LLLC
Phone: (808) 524-4854

Don't let divorce take you by surprise

Could you be headed for a divorce?

If your marriage has been stumbling along for a while now, there's a possibility that nothing more than fear of the unknown and inertia has been holding your spouse in place. Don't let yourself get taken by a surprise announcement that your spouse is on the way out the door. Here are some signs that divorce is imminent:

1. Your spouse takes a sudden interest in financial matters or other practical issues.

Has your spouse never shown a bit of interest in the bills? If so, then a sudden willingness to help with the bills or a desire to organize the family paperwork might be a sign that your spouse is making sure that he or she knows everything there is to know about your financial situation before leaving.

If he or she is suddenly taking an interest in the kids' schedules and offering to handle doctor's visits and school visits, he or she could even be setting the stage to argue for custody.

2. Your spouse seems to be "prepping" for life without you.

It isn't unusual to see a spouse who is on the verge of leaving suddenly take an interest in working out, change their looks or invest in a new wardrobe. That's a signal they're already thinking about dating again after divorce.

Another signal the end is near is when a spouse starts making new career changes that are out of character. For example, if your wife was a homemaker for years and suddenly wants to get some work experience, that could be a sign that she's anticipating a future where she's self-reliant.

3. Your spouse is suddenly developing a separate social life.

If your spouse has taken a renewed interest in his or her friends, taken up new hobbies that don't include you (and you clearly aren't welcome) or seems to be treating you more like a roommate than a spouse (no longer bothering to give you his or her schedule), that's a likely sign that he or she is emotionally and physically starting to put you at a distance. Be particularly wary if there's suddenly a lock on his or her phone and the passwords to email and social media accounts change.

If you believe divorce is nigh, take steps to protect yourself. Contact our office to discuss your situation.

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Coates & Frey | Pioneer Plaza, Suite 1400, 900 Fort Street Mall | Honolulu, HI 96813
Phone: (808) 524-4854 | Fax: (808) 524-0717 | Map & Directions

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