Coates & Frey, Attorneys at Law, LLLC
Phone: (808) 524-4854

Honolulu Family Law Blog

How does Hawaii compare to other states regarding child support?

Every divorced parent has a picture of how they think child support and custody of the children will work -- but that picture can be heavily distorted not only by the stories of others but the geographical area in which you happen to live.

New research indicates that child support payments vary dramatically from one state to the next. Here are some of the basic facts about both issues based on a study from Custody X Change:

How does money lead to marital issues?

Money woes are often cited as the reason that many couples end up splitting apart. However, it isn't necessarily a lack of money that drives people to divorce. In fact, the real root of money problems in marriages can be surprisingly complex.

Here are some of the ways that money can negatively affect your marriage:

Florida woman's arrest stirs national debate over domestic abuse

The arrest of a Florida woman in a domestic abuse case has stirred a national debate about problems in the judicial system because the woman who was arrested was the victim of violence, not the perpetrator. What happened?

The 32-year-old woman got into an argument with her estranged 35-year-old husband. When she tried to leave his apartment, her husband followed her and ultimately drove his vehicle into hers -- forcing her off the road in a harrowing incident of rage and abuse.

Mediation isn't the right path for every divorce

Mediation is a useful alternative to a litigated divorce, especially for parents who are trying to preserve a working relationship for their children's sake or couples who hope to preserve a friendship after their divorce.

But it isn't right for everybody. There are times when mediation is likely to be an exercise in frustration -- or even utterly counterproductive to your needs.

Hawaii is failing to keep children in crisis with family members

When parents are deceased, incarcerated, alcoholic, mentally ill or addicted to drugs, the state often has to step in and find someplace for the children of those parents to live.

Ideally, when children are removed from a home in a crisis, they're supposed to be placed with relatives whenever possible, rather than placed with strangers in the foster care system. The logic is sound. After all, who is more likely to love and nurture a child than his or her own relatives, right?

Why are you putting off your divorce?

If you're unhappily married, you probably have been thinking about divorce for quite a while. You may even have started to imagine what life would be like if your spouse was no longer around.

So, why haven't you taken the next step? Why haven't you talked to your spouse about a divorce or contacted an attorney? If you're like most people, you're delaying the inevitable because of one of the following reasons:

Why is it so hard to keep your friends after a divorce?

It's a common problem: You get divorced and suddenly your social circle -- the people you were counting on to get you through the worst days of the whole process -- shrinks dramatically. Why do so many people find that their friends are suddenly nowhere to be found once they get a divorce?Psychologists say that there are actually several reasons it happens, so you should prepare yourself for this possibility once you make the announcement:

1. People don't know how to react.

Modern technology comes to the rescue for co-parenting woes

Co-parenting is stressful. When parents divorce, one of the things that they quickly find out is that the divorce doesn't solve all their problems with their ex-spouse. When they have children, divorced parents are stuck negotiating with each other as they co-parent.

It's not always easy. Usually, the things that drove a couple apart in the first place start to create problems between them as they try to co-parent after the divorce. Fortunately, modern technology is coming to the rescue.

Honolulu police struggle to protect victims of domestic violence

There's a real struggle going on to provide protection for the victims of domestic abuse in Honolulu -- especially if the abuser is a member of the police force itself.

In a notable case that keeps making headlines, one officer has been involved in at least three separate incidents of domestic violence. In one case, he was even caught on film assaulting a woman. In another, the officers who responded to the domestic incident at his home are accused of helping to cover the incident up by allegedly convincing the victim to say there had been no assault. Despite being removed once from the force, the officer was able to regain his position through a union appeal -- and has been involved in another reported incident.

Do you really have to disclose all your finances in a divorce?

One of the biggest parts of any divorce process is the division of assets and debts. Unfortunately, many times one spouse (or both) may be somewhat unaware of the other spouse's financial dealings. That's why the court requires both parties to put all their "financial cards" on the proverbial table before the divorce can be settled.

This can be very disconcerting if you're used to keeping your financial information private even from your spouse -- but it's your legal obligation to make a full disclosure during the discovery process of a divorce.

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